Urban Foxes have been the new Hoodies for months now. It’s blatant for all to see – demonise an entire species by whatever means and bring back hunting with dogs for your rich chinless mates who have nothing better to do with their time than chase animals around and kill them for fun (let’s not kid ourselves that this is a sport anymore).

How do you demonise a species? The same way you demonise teenaged single mothers, teenagers in hooded tops, an entire city, Eastern Europeans, any foreigners, for that matter, Muslims… twist any, and I mean ANY story, or even a non-story, into a story that blames that species or section of society so that it fits neatly into your little political agenda at that time.

First, foxes are eating our babies. Then they chew our shoes and kill cute fluffy kittens (they can redress the balance on felines at a later date when that fits their other agendas). Next they nibble our ears while we’re in bed. They hang around on corners sniffing glue and looking menacing. Is there no end to the madness that these fierce, out of control, wild animals will go to?

Hold the front page, because they’ve just sunk to a whole new low in Inveresk. Luckily for humanity, David McCann, that intrepid reporter with a nose for a great scandal with a human interest angle, was on the scene straight away to investigate and report…

http://news.scotsman.com/edinburgh/Fox-bites-off-man39s-nose.6600939.jp

Give Mr McCann a medal! I’m glad this stand-up journalist was there. I can breathe a sigh of relief that the world is safe in his hands.

Fox bites off man’s nose and fingers in cemetery!!!!!

SHIT!!! They’re EATING us now!

It’s in the news, therefore it must be true.

To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I have the energy left to go through yet another made-up story and point out the blatantly obvious. You can read it for yourself. There’s no evidence at all of any fox attack. A man got drunk, blacked out and woke up with some injuries. People are talking, and saying blah blah blah whatever. Two police cars turned up. TWO! No one who worked there had heard anything at all about this horrific incident. That’ll be the news blackout and the lockdown, which they also didn’t hear about.

Thank goodness for our intrepid reporter though. He knows a fake fox attack story when he sees one. And he doesn’t let a few pesky facts (or lack of) get in the way. He also neatly ties up the story with a ribbon – “Earlier this year a fox attacked twin baby girls while they slept in their cot at home in London. At the time, John Bryant, a pest control consultant who specialises in foxes, said such attacks were not typical fox behaviour.”

Well, thank you David McCann. Can I call you Dave? I don’t know how long you’ve been doing this job, Dave, but really, you need to go back to media school or whatever, because your article’s crap! Complete and utter bollocks, if you don’t mind me saying so. I’d be ashamed to put my name to such a pile of steaming turd.

I would love to think that no one would believe any of this crap, but noooooooo. There’s a prize idiot who uses the name of “proclaimer,”. Yes, that’s “proclaimer,” with a comma added. If it was anyone with half a brain I’d like to imagine they added the comma for amusing effect. Unfortunately this is just an idiot who can barely use a keyboard. You can sense his fat, sausage fingers, mashing away at the lap top as he replies to the story, his mouth open and his eyes dead – nothing going on behind those eyes. Nothing to see here. Move along!